You were in my life once
For less than a sun rise
You wanted to know me
But met my walls
My eyes were blank
My clothes were torn
My hair was ratty
My heart was shattered
You made me warm
My smile existed
A life Id lost began
You came you left
The walls returned
Protected by more
With barbed wire and thorns
My walls like stone
Was it my fault?
Did I do wrong?
I cant have you back
But dont want you gone
Id try to smile
But know I would lie
I have no happiness
You were my life
You were the one
My tower my strength
You chose my life
You chose my dress
You never knew
What you m
You never said you loved me
You never said you cared
You never smile in my direction
You never cursed me when I stared
You always said hello to me
You were always polite
You always stopped to help a mate
You made all the girls laugh
But you never said you loved me
You never said you cared
You wrote me a letter
And then you disappeared
Angel of stone
Man made with a heart so cold
Misery upon that harsh cool face
With no one to turn to she told her story
For everyone to hear but no one listened
She craved love and lost the world;
Drawn by her stubborn self, she lived.
To live this broken life alone
Messed with, man toyed with her
She cried a single tear each time man left
No one heard her plea, her fear
She strengthened her heart and no longer felt
She died, cold as stone with her cold stone heart
Kept in the dark for so long
Awake, alone and uncared for
You're face, the face to my angel
Then you fell in love with some pretty miss
You forgot about your plain rag doll
Forced her love from your heart
Crushed as she was, she still loved you
Tormented by daemons of past and what could've been
Left alone in her cruel world to watch
Deceased and forgotten, this plain rag doll
Her memories fade from life
For everything she stood for is gone
Cursed by beauty
Hollow inside
No one understands me
None hear me
If one person understood
The pain of beauty
The unwanted attention
The fear that fills me
What I would give for a moment
One who understands
A knowing smile
A kind gesture
Instead I stand alone
In this park, every night
Not sure who'll come
If someone will notice my beauty
The fear I hold in my heart
It filters to my eyes
My beauty is a curse
I hate myself
You are my mystery, my angel
One I'd like to get to know
My heart was caused to flutter,
When you entered my world
Your smile has never been shared
I dream of you each night I sleep,
And each morning I despair
As I wake up with you not there
To hold you in my arms,
My heart would seem to stop
To see a tear glisten down your face,
Would honestly, make my heart break
I'd like to say I love you
For you to hear my voice
To see you smile sweetly
And say it back to me
Part of me though knows,
You would not believe me
You deny that you are everything
But you are my everything, my love
They fall…
From the cold fusion of pain and uncertainty
The chaos, which numbs the heart, has released these tears, these tears of blood
Though the mind's a whirl of guilt, these tears of hate seep down
This crushed soul is that from a past of "love"
The tears of blood are released… no pity, no fear of them
Seeping away my world, my light, my everything
Bleeding from the wrists, these airless, crimson droplets fall
Rivers catch and streamed together, falling…falling…
Those clean cut gates open for the falls
Red tears plummet as more and more I run, driven by fear… confusion… pain…
These irons placed on myself are not those I choose
Strung like wire
Hidden by light
No sound peeps out
Your mask is replenished
No one wonders where you went
Not an adult, nor a child, you are nothing
Alone in the world to find your place
This cold, daunting world awaits
No tear runs down your face
Uncertainty forgotten
The publics' eyes watch you
You stand up to be judged
No eyelid batters
Their faces stuck like stone
Hollow chatter echoes around
No glance's made towards you
Your soul shatters at this plight
The mask threatens to break
Held strong by bones and will
There will be no mistake
Laughter cracks your facade
Tears bleed down your cheeks
Alone you try to stand t
Cracks form the surface
Nothing seems to fall
The lines they trace the scars
But no tear to plunge to the unknown
The thoughts of others glance off me
I've eyes only for you
You, the poor soul left behind
Those greenish eyes you see
The pain cuts through you
You gasp and turn, letting the blood run
The cracks appear before you
Those eyes dissolve
Blinded and lost from time and space
You cry out slamming down your hand
Something cracks… breaks
You feel peace seep through you
You care not for others
Only this darkness that surrounds you
Sound ceases to amuse your thoughts
Only traces of you remain
Away from others the truth
Shadow falls across her face
The shadows they hide her
They hide her hate
Man created her cold heart
Those beatings and those screams
Though those bruises fade to green
Those scars will never cease to burn
The sounds will never cease to turn
The ears that will hear them
Though she hides behind her laugh
She just can't quite seem to start
To start her life, her living heart
To start her life again
These precious nights as hours go by
Not a person in the world can see me
I am shadow and shadow I be
Not a person in the world can hear me
I slip from one place to another
With nothing but a silent plea
Not a person in the world can touch me
But if I were not shadow
The loneliness would not be here
Save me
Cold, dark fear is what I've felt for so long.
Then you come along, my angel of life
You are the one who brings me faith
You are the one who helps me out
I've left that cold, heartless place
But you do not love me as I, you
I care so much but cannot tell you
My angel of life, the one I love
Kill me now so I may find peace
I love you my angel but I cannot sleep
To sleep is to see your face,
One face I cannot bear to see
I miss you so much, my lovely one
Come and visit me, my life is yours
Please love me, please
Haunted by the past and scared of what the future may bring.
Getting through one day is as tough as it seems.
People crying
Children screaming
One person needs to stay strong
For all of life might fade
Night comes
The crying continues
Why's it my fault?
When's my death?
Too long I've waited
The end's within sight
Someone cries out
Then night becomes light
So much to live for
Through the pain I live
Some angel, am I
I'm just a small stuffed bear
Torn and ragged
One ear lost
An eye so close to coming off
I'm HERE and I'm LOVED
You hear me, you see me
You neglect me, you sneer at me
My life has turned from golden to blue
I'm not quite sure why I lost you
Tell me once, why I am bad
This is killing me, it makes me that sad
I try to be strong, I try to be you
But I cannot break through to find you
I may disappoint you, I might make you blue
But I am myself and I'll not lie to you
You make me angry, you make me sad
You make me wonder if I'm alive
I'd love to know you care for me
But I'm not sure you're there for me
I'd love for you to share your smile
But I think that I'll be waiting a while
You think you're so great
You think you're all that
You think
To me, you are so beautiful
You're like the shining sun
To me, you are so beautiful
There's nothing like you 'round
Then you lost your beauty
I left you where you stood
I could not stand to see you
I could not stand the guilt
I made you this way somehow
For me, you were but punished
I feel for you forever
I never understood
People only stare at you
There's nothing I can do
You stand out now you're ugly
But I cannot see you still
My guilt for you is plenty
I cannot stand your looks
I'll die before I kiss you
I only know that truth
Somehow I once loved
But I'll never understand
If I made you this ugly
Then how am I a man
Howling winds and sheets of rain
I don't think my life will be the same
You broke my heart, you left me here
Where I fall, is where I'll stay
Eternity is gone; humanity destroyed
I loved people once but not today
They ruined my life; they set you free
I cared for you once, but you weren't for me
Mirrored in the rain
I see every bit of pain
All the trouble I've caused
Is washed away
The love will not return to me
You broke my heart, you love not me
I'll hate you now and people too
I'll hate you once, I'll hate you true
Howling winds and sheets of rain
My life will not be the same
You broke my heart, you love me not
I will ne
Comforts of sleeping…
No sounds
No shadows from the past
…
Silence remains in a secret domain
No shadows but the created that last
No one knows where they are
If they're alive or dead
Why is it only in sleep that we truly know?
Secrets are kept dreams
Truth and lies become one
Why is this?
…
People come and people go
Where is the end of this dream?
Where does this ruling domain end?
Does this domain show the truth or really just what each one wants?
Does the heart truly lie within us all or is it our minds that make the choice?
How do we know when our lives must end?
…
Clouds float where they like
Dreams are just the same
As shadow falls across her face, another piece is LOST from sight.
Solace only comes at night, when all who taunt her cease to fight.
Each day the sun shall rise and set; her shattered heart will have to DIE, to be reborn in another life.
Frozen in her mask she LIES, concealing all the pain she cries.
For no one will notice her cracks and scars, as no one has noticed her before.
To live her life, to live her lie, to see her FIGHT, to see her die, no one's ever watched her battle.
As shadow falls across her face, another piece is lost from sight.
Another night is lost to her, she SCREAMS, she turns, she dreams.
She dreams of what l
Audio Here
Mom?
Mom? Can you hear me? Do you know me? Do you care?
Mom? Are you proud? Am I like you? Are you there?
I miss you, I had babies, you would love them, I know you would.
Did I do it right?
Some are grown now; did I do it like I should?
I was a singer, did you see me? Did I look like you up on that stage?
I got old now and I don't look like that today, Oh, mom I am so very sorry that you never got to age.
Cancer took Kelly and Nonnie too, are they in Heaven? Are they sitting there with you?
Oh mom I love them and I miss you all so much..I never wrote this note to you.. I know that I lost touch I know I was hiding, f
Of Black Paint and Insomnia by ahollowvoice, literature
Literature
Of Black Paint and Insomnia
There is a place in the mind that I escape to at times,
Where the trees grow dark and thick and close
A place that smells of life and decay, a place wet and alive
That overpowering smell, like an upturned decomposing log
Every breath is wet in your throat, but you taste no grime
Sit flat on the thick gray grass and reach into the black pool
The mud is freezing and thick as you drag your hands out of their dive
Feel it squeeze through your fingers and slithering down your arm
Palms flat as they slide down your face, painted like the trees now
Breathe.
Reflection showing the contrast of white eyes against black
Stand again to walk d
So yeah... as some of you know, I got older.
Been a while since I've been able to do anything except working. I guess this leaves me wishing to go back to the lifestyle of being a uni student where it's laid back.
Let me know what you've all been up to.
:heart: Inky
Well... err... yay? I'm finished for the year.
Now what to do with myself?
Cause chaos? Work? Lazy about? Surf?
How about all of the above?
:heart:
Inky